(Another random auto generated post which will come up at really weird times)
So my friends tell me that going to the supermarket is not macho. 
Hm. What is it that makes a dude look like an auntie. Is it the shopping basket? Or the trolley?
When I was in college, my roommate told me that cooking was for girls. Then I told him that all the famous chefs in the world were men. And so were the best tailors, fashion designers, engineers, artists, rock climbers, bla bla bla. Well he was from Iowa so I wasn’t surprised that he was surprised.
That doesn’t mean women aren’t good in these things. They just don’t make nearly as much noise as men I think. 
I digress. Actually I do agree – as far as a couple of years ago, I already realized that pushing a supermarket trolley’s not the most macho thing in the world to do. That is why I devised a strategy to get around that.
Instead of pushing it, I pull it. Yeah. I drag the trolley behind me. That shows you’re in the driver’s seat, in control, you da man!! Try it. Problem solved. LOL.
So next time if you see some dude pulling a cart at Cold Storage, remember that’s not me. He copied it from me. Another LOL.
***
Okay for some serious stuff, still at the store.
A kid follows his mom to the supermarket. He sees a fancy toy and wants one.
Mommy says no, you’ve got plenty already. Why do you want another one.
Kid says I don’t care, I want it. And he bawls like a baby while his mom continues with her shopping, ignoring his cries.
Now had junior opted to stay home and kick the ball around in the yard like he always does, he would’ve been one happy camper.
But stay home and miss all the fun outside? That’s dumb! So out he went to have fun, and now he’s unhappy.
Why unhappy? Because he saw something he never saw before and decided if only he could have it, life would be just perfect. But mommy says he couldn’t have it so what was previously a perfect life before he laid eyes on the damn thing suddenly became imperfect.
Let’s rewind that and do it in slow motion at the molecular.
The eye made contact. Contact ignited desire. Desire triggered craving. Craving led to suffering, and with suffering come all the tears and woe.
Here’s the killer. If mommy refuses to buy it, junior’s dissatisfied. If mommy buys it and it breaks or gets old after a while, junior’s still dissatisfied, dissatisfaction being the leading cause of abandoned toys. Whatever mom decides, the final outcome is the same – junior’s dissatisfied.
Now replace the kid with you, and the toy with whatever thing you crave but cannot afford. Like a Ferrari maybe.
Ring a familiar bell?
The things you learn in a supermarket. Like do we ever really grow up.
(Random auto generated post which will come up at really weird times)
I’ve written about this before but a few things that happened recently made me reaffirm what I’ve been suspecting all along.
That while we all love to give advice, it rarely ever changes the outcome of something.
Take driving for instance. Your dad tells you to cool it, don’t drive like that coz you’ll end up with a heap of twisted metal. And what do you say to that? “Chill dad, take it easy. I know what I’m doing.”
And then daddy gets a phone call that night. “Uhh dad? I got into a little pile-up on the PIE. The car’s wrecked but I’m ok. Can you come pick me up?”
Think of all the lessons you’ve ever had. People telling you don’t do this, don’t do that. Be careful, you’ll get burned. But do you listen? Nooo, of course not. You nod your head, say “Uh huh” and then go out and do it anyway.
Come to think of it, have you ever met an accomplished businessman who made it because someone told him how to do it? I haven’t. Quite the opposite, they all tell me how they went ahead in spite of everyone’s advice, got whacked a few times before they finally made it.
Its a lesson I learnt many times in Wing Chun martial arts.
You think you’re smart after sneaking a peek at the old book of secrets. You eagerly try it out in a friendly duel and then you get whacked. Wtf, you wonder. After a while, you get the point. Knowing something (= receiving advice) is only half the story.
So as irritating as they may be, that stubborn little kid that’s driving you nuts may actually be one step ahead on the competitive curve than the perfect little boy who listens and follows every piece of advice he’s given. Hear that, parents? 
Why do I say that? Because stubbornness attracts mistakes. Mistakes give you pain. Pain raises your sense awareness. Heightened awareness enhances competitiveness and your chances of survival.
Its like how your arm smarts after being punched. A few punches later you develop an instinct to “see” the next punch coming before it does. It sets off behaviors and attitudes you don’t get sitting in a seminar on how to fight or be an entrepreneur.
So believe it or not, sometimes mistakes and hardship are your best friends.
What’s interesting is how many punches you need to take before you really wake up.
Can’t resist this one before I hit the road… err.. air later.
This happened yesterday. I was driving and minding my own business on a busy road, sticking to my lane when a tiny little car tried to overtake me from the left.
We were on one of these roads where 3 lanes merge into 2. He was in the leftmost lane. His lane merges into mine.
Its a tiny car, a heavily blinged Kancil I think. The thing was, I was in front of him. Probably realizing he was running out of road very quickly and not wanting to fall in behind me, he gunned the accelerator and parallel-raced a hair’s breath away from me. I guess they don’t play chicken just in Alabama.
I was in a great mood and was actually quite happy to give him my space if I could, but I was boxed in. One car in front of me, one behind me, one on my right. He was on my left. Can’t move. And he wanted me to get out of the way. I was like wtf.
And sure enough he ran out of road and and flew up the curb at 80km/h. I glanced at the rear view mirror. The car and its passengers were bobbing up and down furiously like on a wild horse as they careened on the grass and swiftly avoided a lamp post. You shoulda seen it. ROTFL.
But that’s not the end. The asswipes recovered and came after me like I was the cause of their off-road excursion and probably a seriously damaged undercarriage.
So they speeded up and got to my right, winding down the window as they approached. I knew they wanted to yell, “Have a nice day!” but they were driving erratically. Either their tie rods were really screwed or the driver was so blinded with rage he couldn’t drive straight. We were still doing about 80.
Then we ran into a traffic jam but as luck would have it, it was their side of the road that stalled. My lane was moving fine so I breezed past. Could see them trying frantically to cut into my lane behind me (to catch up with me?) but got honked and prevented by a barrage of approaching cars. Then it was my lane’s turn to grind to a halt… traffic.
Seconds passed and then thru the closed windows I heard a commotion behind me. Apparently the bullies tried to rough their way across lanes again and picked the wrong target. This time it was a 20-ton earth moving truck. I glanced at the rear view mirror. The truck had stopped. So had the little car – stalled right in the path of the truck. An aborted cut-in maneuver. Wouldn’t be surprised if there was contact.
The truck driver apparently wouldn’t have any of that nonsense. He stopped the truck, opened the door and climbed down. He had something in his hand, looked like a big stick. Cars were honking everywhere.
Then my lane freed up and I moved off.
Whew.
In my mind, I was musing. Drunk driver? He had a bad day? Or was he just being a jerk?
I have a tip for you wannabe road bullies. Want some respect? Lose those Kancils man. Grow a pair and go get this one.
I guarantee everyone will make way for you. Lol.
If you’re my regular blog reader, you’d have noticed that the timing of my postings have been getting more and more erratic. When you’re shuttling between 3 different cities a week for 2 straight weeks and probably all the way till Christmas when it’ll get worse – 6 cities a month: Singapore, Hong Kong, Shanghai, KL, London, San Francisco, you know something’s gotta give.
I don’t mind the cities. Its the travelling that’s the bummer. Sitting in that cramped sardine can with wings for up to 18 hours sometimes. Doesn’t matter whether you’re sitting in the front or at the back, its still something I dread. Man I’d kill for that transporter thing I see in Star Trek. Beam me up, Scotty. No bad weather to run into, no crying babies to endure, no security check hassles, no flight delays.
I don’t know if its coincidence but this was about the time that I quit my last employment, and under the same circumstances too. It was a time when I had to be in several different places at once. It was also how I got into business. The people I left had no other choice but to get me back in on contract as the know-how was locked in my head. Not on purpose but because there just wasn’t time to write it all down and still meet the deadlines.
Yup, time. There’s only 24 hours a day. That’s your biggest challenge.
Anyway, I digress. Seeing that I’m only in one place for 3 days (at best) before I hit the airline check-in counters again, I’ve decided to take a break from blogging for about a month. Shorter if I can get stuff done quicker. I’ll try to sneak in a post every now and then if my mind’s up to it. I’ll try to leave comments in the regular blogs I visit as that takes less time than writing a full blown post.
Meanwhile, thank your lucky stars you’re not on a perpetually moving train like I am.
Sai Yeung Choi St., Mong Kok
Today I wanna talk about making it in life. There are so many roads to take. Roads to the big city, roads to the small city, and everything in between.
Some believe if you have big dreams, you go to the big city. If you have small dreams, you go to the small town. Well, I just came back from a big city called Hong Kong and don’t mind telling you that a good majority of the people I run into there do not have big dreams. They have small but profitable dreams. Very, very profitable dreams.
Let me give you an example. Some people have dreams of conquering the world with the software or gadget they are developing. They envision how their effort will change the world. They’ll be in the news, their stocks traded on NASDAQ, and they’ll retire young. And to be fair, some do make it big, like the dudes behind Google.
And then there are those who can’t see three meters beyond their noses. They don’t know and don’t wanna know what’s going on beyond that. But, you cannot challenge their expertise within that three meter range. They might have a shanty little restaurant or auto workshop under a bridge somewhere. They drum up good business. They know their stuff and they know what their customers want. They go off on annual family holidays and send their kids to Australia and places like that to study.
My point is not to suggest that one is superior than the other because there are upsides and downsides to both. My point is to point out the fairy tale that there is only one way to success – to dream big.
I don’t really know why but some of us are born with the ability to see the big picture and some aren’t. From what I see, the big picture guys tend to end up in the corporate jungle where they talk about global business and scheme about world domination. Some go into politics. Both are concerned about controlling and changing other people.
The rest of us drop off into the cracks, concerned only with what’s for dinner and what movie to catch this Saturday. For us the big picture is like the weather – out of our control and pointless to try and control. We get our kicks from the simpler things in life like cool toys and a fun gig, not from changing others.
So which one are you?
After my evening jaunts in Mong Kok and Wan Chai these last few days, I’m beginning to see there’s no single formula to success. Its also begining to be clear that if you’re a big picture guy, you’ll need a different set of tricks than the small picture guy. Thinking back, I think most of the management books I read were written by people who joined corporate life, got f**d big time, left the scene and decided to write a book. And then silly people like me go and buy their book.
One thing. I think the big picture guy has a slight advantage. Know why? Because its easier for him to become a small picture guy than the reverse. He just tells himself I don’t give a shit about what’s happening in the world. As long as money’s in the bag who cares what’s happening around me. Easy.
The only question is, can you. Not care about your surroundings I mean (which is the curse you big picture guys carry around with you.)
At the end of the day, I think its all about what you’ll settle for. If its only money, then you don’t need the big picture. Its safe to forget about career paths, MBAs, NASDAQ, stuff like that. But if its more than just money – like a craving for recognition or a craving for a “better life” for everyone because you think they need it, then stick with the big picture.
Ok I’m off to the airport again in 2 hours. Damn.
Yesterday as I was flying home from a totally unplanned trip to Hong Kong, I sat next to this kid on the plane. I think he’s about 13 or 14, I dunno, but he was traveling alone to Singapore to see his mom. We sort of started talking nonsense and halfway over the South China Sea, he came up with this idea of playing a word association game.
How it goes is one of us picks out a random word and the other says out the first thing that comes to his mind. The original word could be anything. You got 3 seconds. Where’s the fun you ask? Hell if I know but my objective was to make it harder and harder for him to respond.
So it was my turn and it went something like this.
Me: “Airplane”
He: “Wings.”
Me: “Spaghetti.”
He: “Meatballs.”
Me: “Mechanic.”
He: “Harley Davidson.”
Me: “Amateur.”
He: “Uhh… porn?”
I stopped dead in my tracks. “Porn? PORNNN?? Whoa, what’s the connection?” I asked.
“Ummm… nothing, nothing.” he stammered, embarrassed. “It just came to my mind, that’s all.”
“Riiigght,” I said with a big grin on my face. “So what else have you been looking at on the net?” I asked innocently.
Anyway the point I wanna make is, word associations don’t apply to objects only. They apply to people too.
So if I said Einstein, what’s the first thing that comes to your mind? What if I said Megan Fox? Or George Bush?
You’ll notice that when it comes to people, word association responses tend to evoke one thing – reputation. Maybe its the most memorable part of someone and because of that, the word association tends to be descriptive. Like genius, sexy, trustworthy, slimeball.
Okay, so what if someone mentions your name? What word do you think will come back? Jerk? Fun? Boring?
Let’s say your friends have one word to say about you – crazy ass, and the reverse works the same way too. Mention crazy ass and your name immediately pops up. Congratulations, that’s one heck of a confirmation that you own that word, like how Jack Russel terriers own the word “havoc.” Good or bad, you’re that word and that word is you. At least in your circle of friends.
So how did you get to own that word? By accident or by design?
If you can answer that question, you’re well on your way to understanding how brands work.
“How much is that super-Pro tennis racket?”
“Is this the same guitar brand used by Eric Clapton?”
“So this car is better than the M5?”
“You sure this bike was used Carlos Sastre used to win Tour de France last year?”
All these questions have one thing in common. They’ve been asked by newbies all over who want to take a short cut to glory by buying the best equipment money can buy.
Have kick-ass equipment, will rock.
And actually, despite the naysayers you do rock. People love you because you got the money to buy a $20,000 bicycle or because you give them funny stories to tell at the bar.
Here’s one funny story (see, its working already. lol.) I had a classmate in California who bought a brand new Corvette car in his senior year. Everyone went “Wooo…” I had a chance to take a ride out with him and yup, he drove like a pussy. The only vehicles that didn’t overtake him on the freeway were heavy trucks and a few pickups that were carrying illegal Mexican workers. But it didn’t matter because it certainly caught a few ladies’ attention. At the end of the day, that’s what its all about.
You know why equipment is so important? Because we all need an outside object to pin our egos and frustration on. We buy something big to compensate for something small (and no, I’m not necessarily talking about that something.) But its how it works. Have right brand of squash racket, got ticket to the big boys table. Have road race to lose, got car to blame. Its stupid yeah, but it serves a need.
Bottom line? You might not know it but sometimes, what you buy says a lot more about you than you think.
Have a good weekend folks.
Yesterday I learned an excellent way to save money. You may already be a master at this.
Here’s what you need:
1. A wallet with 1 or two pieces of the biggest banknotes you can find. $100 notes are ideal. Put away anything smaller than a $50.
2. A straight face.
Here’s what you do.
You’re out with a couple of friends for a drink. The bill comes, let’s say for $24.90. You open up your wallet, slap your forehead and say loudly, “Oh shit, I only have a $100 note!”
Cashiers love customers with small change and if your friends are normal well-balanced people, they’ll have a wad of $1’s, $5’s and $10’s in their wallets. So at the cashier…
- Friend A holds out 2 $10’s and a $5.
- Friend B holds out a $50.
- You hold out your $100 bill.
Guess whose money will the cashier take?
Go ahead, try it and see what happens.
The good thing about this technique is, you can always lay it on the cashier for not wanting your money. You get a free ride and nobody can blame you for not offering to pay.
As for your friend, you could tell him you’ll pay him back once you get your hands on some small change. Not that it matters coz in 3 days time, he’ll forget about it and so will you.
Remember, the trick is to never keep anything smaller than a $50 in your wallet whenever you’re out on some social entertaining.
My gratitude to my sifu Mr. I-Never-Have-Small-Change for this wonderful tip.
What about you, have any “good” tips to share?
I like Formula One, especially when my heroes are winning, and this season has been full of surprises. Here’s one that I picked up recently from the world of F1. Glad to know even that vaunted sport is not spared.
“‘News of the discontent at Brawn has filtered down the pit lane prompting rival teams, including Red Bull, McLaren and Ferrari, to attempt to lure the top brains behind the championship-winning car with lucrative job offers.’
Brawn chief executive Nick Fry, though, insists he is unaware of any unhappiness in the camp.
“No one has said anything to me about this,” Fry told the paper. “I am extremely surprised. We will look into any concerns that people have, though I am not aware of any. As far as we are concerned these are internal matters but if there is an issue with anybody we are quite happy to talk to them about it.”
Sound familiar?
You probably know a company or two where everyone’s fed up with the working conditions. The grapevine’s busy with crude jokes and cartoons about senior management. Its been going on a while. Some are so pissed they argue openly with managers. Then when you ask the CEO about it, he’ll go, “No, I’m not aware of this. No one told me. I am extremely surprised.”
You also know companies whose customers are so pissed at their services they go to blogosphere for a noisy roasting. A hundred comments pour in from other similarly pissed customers. But ask the CEO and he’ll say, “No, I’ve never received a single complaint. I’m surprised. As far as I know, everything’s fine.”
So what do you do with such a CEO? Or more precisely, what should the board do with him?
Fire him?
Haha, in your dreams. Come year end, 9 out of 10 times they will give him a handsome raise and renew his contract for another 2 years. Yes! Give us more of your magic!! the board says.
If you doubt this, go read the local papers. See what’s happening in companies where morale is at rock bottom. See how the CEO’s contract gets renewed every time, with a nice bonus thrown in.
So all you management gurus, care to tell me what’s up?
I can only guess and here is my guess. It has nothing to do with morale. It has everything to do with numbers.
Okay, here’s what I’d do if I were the evil CEO.
See, sometimes when shareholders are clamoring for numbers and sales figures aren’t good enough, the only way to make profits look good is to revert to that old trick – cut costs.
So I cut corners. I reduce training. I do away with the coffee and tea in the pantry, the subsidized parking, the toilet paper. I axe the company trip and annual dinner. I also cut extra services to customers. No more refillable soda at the counter. Whatever I can restrict I restrict.
The staff will be pissed. So will the customers but I will give just enough not to scare off my most valuable customers. The 20% who gives me 80% of my money. I also look after the staff who keep this 20% happy. The rest of them I wouldn’t give a sh*t.
Meanwhile I will get ready for half the company to leave in disgust but I already have plans to get new blood in so go ahead make my day. Leave if you want.
The immediate effect: sales stay the same but because my costs go down, my profit goes up. The staff curses and swears at me but the board loves my numbers. I get my contract renewed.
I know what you’re thinking. How long can this go on? I agree. But it buys me time to clean house and get something going with the new blood I’m getting from the outside. New brooms sweep the best you see.
If that doesn’t happen, simple. I’ll just cite uncontrollable market changes, propose a buyout or merger and with some accounting magic, I still come up ahead.
Now you know why evil CEOs survive. But you know what? He’s not the only one to blame. Think of your hunger for good P/E ratios if you happen to have a few lots of the company’s shares.
That’s “c” as in check you dunderheads. Or cheque as you guys spell it here. Yeah my friend Jasmine just received her first big payoff for a freelance job as a copywriter. A bunch of us went out last night in typical Asian style to help her spend some of her fortune. Thanks J.
I wanna talk about viral magic today. If you’ve dug around the net a bit, you might have bumped into something with a title like “Her first big …..” Its not everywhere but its starting to get viral (noticeable), the use of similar sounding titles I mean, not the content, especially if you stray into that area where clothes are optional.
Ok, porn. There, I said it.
And no, its not my habit to hang out there. Got better things to do with my time. Its just interesting where you end up when you innocently follow one link to the next.
Now me being me, I do have one habit. I tend to question the truth or validity of the words I see. Yeah, irritating. So if a product flyer says, “We’re No. 1 worldwide!” I say, “Really? Let me check on that.” Sometimes I find they are no. 1 in some freaky category, like first in the world with blue durians that smell like strawberries, something like that. Sometimes the claim turns out to be anything but true.
So media titles like “Her first big…” got me thinking. How did the producers of the flick know it was her first big …? I mean with her skills, she obviously had plenty but its like saying its her first delicious cupcake. What if she went to that other shop tomorrow and ate an even more delicious cupcake. Would she still say that previous cupcake was her first delicious cupcake? Furthermore, for that claim to be true there would have to be an independent 3rd party there to confirm that it was indeed her first big whatever. That 3rd party would have to check her background and activity history to confirm or refute the claim of it being the “first”.
Only then we have a believable title.
You see where I’m getting at? Truth in advertising FTW!!! Hehe.
There’s another increasing trend I spot on the net that I have no idea where or how it started. In blogs, pictures or videos, have you ever come across titles like this one – “Cute Mei Ling loves to camwhore in her pink cardigan while holding a cup of tea with her left pinkie.”
Aww come on, gimme a break. How on earth does a blogger know that Mei Ling “loved” to do whatever she was doing? What if she did it because she had no choice? Or that she was paid to do it, and that if you paid her a little more she would have “loved” to pose in the green cardigan and she won’t “love” the pink one? And uhh… is that your definition of “cute”?
Okay, I’m laughing my ass off. My IQ just dropped 10 points in the last 60 seconds. Seriously dude, if you believe any of these titles, you obviously need your head checked. But you know what’s interesting? Its how you don’t have to be smart to attract eyeballs. Sometimes you just have to appear lame and make it sound so irritatingly ridiculous that people must go check it out, if nothing else just to see how someone can be so lame.
Conclusion? Its not always the high IQ stuff that gets the attention.
Think about it the next time you advertise.
