Success has little to do with good grades

I have a cousin who’s in third year in a US college. He’s a bright guy except at the rate he’s going, he may graduate at the bottom of his class.

His parents are up in arms. They’d given him everything, enough money for school needs, rented him an apartment, bought him a nice new Civic. Still, his GPA was never better than a C average. He’s got the usual distractions like NBA and a live-in girlfriend from the same college. Well, which college student doesn’t. The only problem is they’re doing much better than he is.

I empathize with his parents. Still, I told them I’m not so alarmed, quoting famous flunkies like Albert Eistein. Its not that grades don’t count. They just count more if you’re headed for vocational jobs like engineering or medicine. Their son is an Economics major. Unless he’s eyeing a job at JP Morgan or Merril Lynch, he’ll probably end up interning in an area that has no bearing on what he studied. Like retail management.

I suppose its not easy for the elder generation to accept, especially if you’re Chinese steeped in tradition where you’re a nobody unless you’re an imperial scholar like Zhang Yen-Yuan. Hey nothing wrong with that, except the planet has moved around the sun a few thousand times since the Tang dynasty. Today, CGPA’s of A-/B+ are a dime a dozen. You can even buy them off the shelf and you know what? As an employer its a yawn, a yes-I-have-it or no-I-don’t-have-it kind of thing.

Here’s a practical tip. See how much time we interviewers spend sussing out your attitudes compared to poring over your college grades line by line? That should give you a clue as to what we’re really looking for.

No, don’t abandon your studies. You’ll be thankful for the flying start your degree gives you. But no A’s no problem. You can make up for it with some major kick ass attitude.

Ex classmates

Its 2008. Do you know where your childhood friends and classmates are?

I keep in contact with a few myself. Just the other night I MSN’d with “Pottymouth” Steve, my ex roomie from college. He’s with the US Dept of Homeland Security now. When Steve first said he had joined the government I ROTFL’d but holy crap thats what he did!! He sounded happy. And I still want my CDs back. There are a few others. One’s a manager at Wal-Mart, one joined Microsoft, and another is striking it on his own just like me. Oh and there’s Debrah who’s taking her Phd at some university on the west coast.

This side of the world, I’ve got one who’s a junior pilot in SIA, one in ING, and one who’s lazing around ‘coz his father is rich. I’ve lost track of the rest.

Every once in a while, I’d get an IM or email from one of them who’d say, “Hey I bumped into so and so the other day. Remember him? The one you spilt soda on.” Then we would fill each other up with info, noting occupation, marital status, the company he keeps. Somehow knowing that is so important.

Its comforting to know that my comrades are doing well or are at least happy. But I know not all are doing well. I heard about layoffs, breakups and a friend Mary Jane who passed away in a car accident in 2001. Having spent my teens and early twenties together we’re almost like family. In fact, other than my own flesh and blood, they are the few I know I can count on when I’m in need.

Damien can cook: Mushrooms

Yup, bachelor life has its perks. I can make a mess in the kitchen and nobody can complain, haha.

So when a simple vegetarian lunch of fried rice and poached vegetables for two costs $25, you know its time to try your luck in the kitchen, so this was what I whipped up for dinner last Sunday. A 3-mushroom soup.

Ready?

Boil some water.

Add fresh button mushrooms like the ones on the left.

Add Chinese dried mushrooms (don’t forget to soak first).

Add some canned straw mushrooms.

Add 1 chopped tomato.

Add some chopped celery stalk.

Then some salt, pepper and my secret ingredient - a dash of lemon juice.

Heat to boil, turn off fire, let it sit for 5 minutes. Done!

Tastes great with lightly buttered bread. Yummiez.

Cost: less than $10. Time to prepare: 15 minutes. Nutritional value: Don’t know although I did hear mushrooms have zero nutritional value, he he.

Retimed

I usually update my blog around 9 am weekdays. In the next few weeks I can only update around 8-9 pm evenings to fit into a changed work schedule (large project). I will also be away half of next week but I’ll try to update from wherever I am, if there is an internet connection.

Gad I hate flying.

Sabotaging your own brand Part 1 - Customer Service

Companies are not terribly efficient creatures. What the left hand builds, the right hand itches to tear down. Take customer service. After spending up to $10 million in renovation and equipment, here’s how it shafts itself.

1. Pay frontliners peanuts and get monkeys to man the phones.
2. Don’t train them. What’s so difficult about picking up the phone and saying “Hallo hallo?”
3. Don’t include them in your cc list for product and policy changes. Their job is to answer the phones, not to know these things.
4. Ignore the cases they forward to you. Why should you do their jobs.
5. Shame the frontliner in front of everyone for being unable to explain things you never told them about.
6. Hire a frontliner for every 1,000 calls you get a day. You bought that call queueing system for a reason right?
7. Better still, replace your frontliners with an answering machine. Machines don’t argue with you and they’re loads cheaper.
8. Call them telephone operators and lump them together with the receptionist and tea lady at company dinners.
9. Treat customer service as a dumping ground for your problem staff.
10. Put customer service in the hands of a domintarix, schizo or some manager with weird people issues.
11. Don’t bother asking the customer what they think of your hotline quality. Lets be honest, which customer is ever satisfied?

Companies never seem to get the point.

The person answering your hotline is your brand ambassador. He’s the guy who puts your best foot forward, the one that leaves delightful first impressions, the one that flies to the customer in a cape to save the day. To the caller, he or she embodies the vibrant exciting personality of your company. You should be putting celebrities there. Or the Carlsberg girls. Or Superman.

Instead what do companies do?

Dump their worst performers there. Pay them peanuts, keep them in the dark, treat them like scum and beat them with a proverbial big stick every time they come to you for assistance. Imagine that happening to the Calsberg girls. Or Superman.

And we wonder why we have a sick customer service culture.

The male receptionist

So, why can’t males be receptionists, secretaries and tea ladies … errr I mean tea men? You can’t deny they make great teh tarik can you?

I asked around and here’s what people said.

• Men are supposed to be roving hunters. They can’t be trusted to remain at the same spot all day.
• Receptionists and secretaries are jobs that require care and patience. Men are not capable of caring and patience.
• Men are physically stronger so they should be doing manual labor.
• Its such a waste to put a man there (this one came from a woman)
• There must be something wrong with him.
• Your company will be a laughing stock.
• Never send a man to do a woman’s job.
• Uhh.. why are you asking weird questions?

It was a simple situation. A company had a problem. The receptionist had gone on maternity leave. Everyone was going nuts because general calls were landing randomly at everyone’s desk. Customers were complaining. The company has a contract with a temp staff supplier but at that time, none of the available temps were satisfactory. So the suggestion came up, “Would you consider hiring a male receptionist?”

The comeback was a quick and emphatic, “No!” So ladies, don’t feel disheartened that women are discriminated at work because men are discriminated too.

So, anyone want to add to the list of why men should not become secretaries, receptionists and yeah, tea men? No, seriously.

Here’s a side question. Do you think profit overrides everything, including the desire for social conformity? If you agree that profit is king, what if a male offers to become your personal secretary for slightly less money? Would you go for it? Or would you rather burn a few hundred bucks more just to avoid being called … what’s that word … strange?

Why watch a movie when you don’t really want to?

I was at the movies last night watching Hancock with Mike and Xiao Chen. It was a lovely story, one I’m sure to remember for a while. I definitely recommend it to anyone who loves Heroes, the Power Puff Girls and Superman. Two thumbs up.

Anyway that’s not what I want to talk about. I wanna talk about the bunch of wankers who sat next to me - 4 of them. College guys I think. They were talking through the whole preview section of the movie, ignoring people who were shushing them to keep quiet. They only piped down when the actual movie started. Great, I thought. Until they whipped out their handphones and started playing sms tag with god knows who. The guy next to me was practically checking his phone every minute and everytime he got incoming, he’d excitedly pass the phone to his friends and they’d break out giggling.

I was this close to taking his phone and shoving it up you know where.

You 4 retards, why oh why do you bother to stand in line and spend your money on a show you have no intention of watching? And upsetting a hundred innocent people in the process?

You deserve a kick in the nuts ‘cuz you’re all idiots.

On another note, did anyone notice the Disney anti piracy campaign clip they’re playing in cinemas nowadays? The one with the cute robots and message that pirated movies = poor quality rippoffs = garbage? Dya reckon whoever made the clip ever came here to see the quality of local pirated movies, with razor sharp quality, dts, Dolby, THX and choice of language subtitles? Are they that clueless? Hahahaha.

TV shows I can’t live without

I have a routine when I get home after work. I can spend 2 hours watching recordings of my favorite shows every day. Here’s the countdown to the top six I can’t live without plus the people behind their voices.

6. Ben 10
Ben’s cool because he can morph into aliens and kick ass. Can’t say which alien form I like best cause I like all of them. Umm okay, maybe not Canonbolt - he’s too clumsy for my taste. And I seriously question the sanity of anyone who lives out of an RV (recreation vehicle) like Ben, Gwen and Max does even if it does look like fun. (Btw last month I bought an Omnitrix - the watch thingy that makes Ben go alien. Couldn’t find the Bandai Illuminator or Ultimate version so I had to settle for one that shoots pellets. It broke after a week. Dang.)

5. Jimmy Neutron
Jimmy’s the modern day equivalent of Dexter (from Dexter’s Lab) except Jimmy has no sister. Jimmy always gets into trouble with his scientific inventions and yet he’s clever enough to figure his way out. I kind of like fat Carl too because he reminds me of a classmate I used to have and, hee hee, pick on. My least favorite character is Jimmy’s mom because she’s a control freak.

4. Avatar, The Last Airbender
This show dropped a few notches for me for suffering a serious continuity issue, I think because of the screenwriter’s guild strike? It now hangs in the middle of Book Three, the Fire Nation, just when things are supposed to get really exciting. Still, it has one of the greatest storylines ever created for animation. My favorite characters have got to be Toph the Earth Bender and Sokka the Water Bender.

3. Fairly Odd Parents
I have to watch at least 2 episodes of FOP every day or I won’t feel complete. Every character in the show is brilliantly casted, from Timmy the main character to Mr. Crocker his teacher to Jorgen Von Strangle the fairy that sounds like Arnold Schwarzenegger. If you didn’t know, comedian Jay Leno stars as the resident hero the Crimson Chin. That’s how cool it is.

2. Teen Titans
This is a terrific show that I spend 2 hours watching every Saturday. Beastboy gets my vote as favorite character. He’s funny and a vegetarian because for every animal you care to name, he has morphed into it one time or another. The music by Puffy Ami Yumi’s great too.

And now for my most favorite show EVARR!!!!! Presentinnggg….

1. Spongebob Squarepants
I will never get tired of Spongebob. And Patrick, Squidward, Mr. Krabs and the Flying Dutchman. I grew up with them and still have a one-episode-a-day minimum. I’ve decided if I ever live under the sea, I will name my place Bikini Bottom. I’m quite proud of my comprehensive collection of Spongebob paraphernalia at home - got cushions, posters, blanket, pencil boxes, candy dispenser, backpack, pajamas, action figures and a full set of cool ring tones. I am contemplating painting one room in the house yellow and calling it my Bikini Bottom. Or maybe do it up like the Krusty Krab, I still haven’t decided.

So there you have it, the six TV shows I can’t live without.

p.s. I hear Naruto is coming to Nickelodeon. Its gonna be great!!

Edit: Guess no one noticed two things. One, that Timmy Turner has an uncanny resemblance to Zach Tyler Eisen. Check out the signature teeth, pink hat, brown hair and goofy smile. Two, that women act as boys in cartoons. Secret alter ego? Haha.

This too shall pass

“King Solomon once searched for a cure against depression. He assembled his wise men together. They meditated for a long time and gave him the following advice: Make yourself a ring and have thereon engraved the words “This too shall pass”. The King carried out the advice. He had the ring made and wore it constantly. Every time he felt sad and depressed, he looked at the ring, whereon his mood would change and he would feel cheerful.”

- Jewish folktale

I decided to stay put in the office today after being told traffic in the city is horribly snarled. My associate had to cancel our lunch appointment. He ranted on the phone about the timing of this inconvenience. All I could say to him was, “Dude, take it easy. It’ll pass.”

When I was a kid I suffered from a nasty rash caused by an allergy. I overheard the nurses say that allergies stay with you for life which made me so scared I cried. My dad gave me a hug and said, “Look kiddo, don’t worry, it’ll go away soon.” And one day when I was 14, it disappeared as suddenly as it came.

A couple of years ago when I was in a commuter plane midway between Denver and the Twin Cities the plane bounced around violently and suddenly took a steep dive. It was tornado season and I think we flew into a storm. Luggage and things flew everywhere in the cabin and people were screaming. I’ve taken hundreds of plane rides and I can tell you this was no ordinary turbulence. This is the end, I thought. Somewhere in my head I furiously thought, “It will pass, it will pass.” Then as suddenly as it started, the plane leveled again as it flew out of the clouds.

Oh I’m quite sure I had nothing to do with why these things passed. What I believe is that is that nothing about us is permanent. No hardship is ever permanent. No happiness is ever permanent. When we’re hungry we eat, then we feel hungry again. When we are caught up in a bad situation, the clouds eventually part for the sun to shine, and then we find more trouble for ourselves again.

This might sound strange to you but this Jewish folktale has been a source of comfort to me. Knowing that bad times are guaranteed to pass helps me keep a positive outlook when things aren’t perfect. Knowing that a fun ride ends even if I don’t want it to helps me temper my expectations and avoid too much disappointment.

That’s how I learn to keep a smile in good times and bad. Its a heluva lot better than rapidly flipping between ecstatic highs and heartbreaking lows that people say is ‘normal’. As normal as the frown lines permanently etched on one of my ex boss’s foreheads. Alternating between extreme hot and extreme cold enough times will crease and break anything. We are not exempted.

My latest toy, the Sansa e260

I decided to give myself a treat yesterday and bought me a replacement for my water-damaged iPod - the Sansa e260 mp3 player by Sandisk.

Its got 4GB on-board good for about 1,000 songs and a micro-SD expansion slot which is the reason why I decided to get this baby since none of the others offered expansion.

My first impressions.

The pros:

• Memory expansion obviously (I haven’t tried it yet though).
• Jog-style wheel for volume adjustment & menu browsing.
• Equalizer options.
• Battery life (advertised as 20 hours)
• Sleek black finishing.
• Display quality - bright and crisp.

The cons:

• Synching with my laptop was easier with Vista (with WMP11) than Linux (with Rythmbox).
• Can’t play mov, flv and other video formats - Must convert using Sansa software.
• Some work needed to get it to read mp3 tags properly. For some reason it didn’t like tags written in Linux.
• Can’t disable the blue light that turns on when you touch the volume wheel.

But the price I paid for it, $300, balances off by the cons I feel. It far outweighs its nearest challenger, the Sony mp3 player which retails at $249 for a 2GB model - unexpandable to boot.

No regrets so far.