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People love their masks

November 13, 2008

You wake up to a new day and decide to make a solemn promise to yourself. “From today onwards, I will be completely, 100% truthful to everyone about myself!”

How many friends do you reckon you’ll have left by the end of the week?

I watched a drama episode on tv last night where this guy got dumped when his girlfriend found out one teeny detail about his past. It was a weekend fling. The guy thought since it happened many years ago before he knew his current girlfriend, it wasn’t worth mentioning. His girlfriend, however, saw it as dishonesty that deserved capital punishment, so she promptly killed their relationship.

I wonder what would happen if the guy did tell her about the one-night stand. Will she think less of him and dump him anyway?

I’m always amused by my Sg friend who has two sets of behaviors. He’s the intelligent, refined one when he’s out on business and the one that burps, farts and swears when he’s out with the boys. So just to yank his chain, I introduced him to to a young foul-mouthed businessman once. Man that was fun, seeing him struggle with two personas. πŸ˜€

We are adaptable creatures so I guess we instinctively put on the front that gets us the best mileage. Some call it a mask. Some call it pretension, dishonesty. One is understandable, the other unacceptable. Its the same thing? Details, details.

But back to the question. If you bared open every gory detail of your past, left out no embarrassing detail to scrutiny and lived out your true inclinations – burps, farts, sagging pants and all – how many of your friends do you think will stay your friends?

Welcome to yet another human paradox – how people desperately want us to be 100% honest and yet are not able to stand the truth.

Dude, whatever happened to “love is unconditional”?

6 Comments leave one →
  1. November 13, 2008 8:04 am

    wow, what a great post. Your right, I would say I am selective in my behavior when it comes to people places and things, sometimes out of manners, but mostly because I am afraid of not being liked. Although the more I take esteemable acts, I feel more and more comfortable about who I am.
    When it comes to business meetings, I mean i don’t think it’s not being yourself if you don’t burp, its been polite, so it depends on the situation. But your right people want you you to be honest, but then they judge you for it.

    Hey Mike. So its true what they say… that we’re not ourselves, most of the time.

  2. November 13, 2008 9:30 am

    I think my friends will still be around me since I got nothing much to hide. I don’t like to hide things from people, even the weird part of me. It’ll just make me feel terrible.

    Oh you still got things to hide alright. That’s why you’re wearing clothes like the rest of us. Hahahaha. πŸ˜€

  3. LC Teh permalink
    November 13, 2008 11:03 am

    Universally, love is still unconditional. At least that’s what I say. It’s only that some species can’t handle certain truths that come out in certain ways at certain times that the idealistic love is shocked out of its senses by the stark truth.

    Humans are still top of the class in masquerade, camouflage and changing of colors to suit conditions. That explains how some animals with super senses to protect themselves still become endangered species in face of humans as they continuously end up as the menu on dinner dates.

    As members of human species we should be more understanding of others who need to wear masks at certain times for survival purposes. One should be smart enough to read between lines, hear between words, see behind masks to understand each other the need for protocol, manners and not to seek the ‘outright truth’ when one already perceives the apparent.

    Finally, 100% honesty? That too can be elusive and illusory.

    Perhaps we are naturally judgemental as a species, complex by nature that we have to figure each other out through signs, inferences and innuendos. Poetry was never my strength although sometimes I wish it was. Maybe these uncertainties are what makes it exciting, as in trying to figure out what an art piece is about. Maybe life is like art, and truth is not always what we see with our naked eyes.

  4. LC Teh permalink
    November 13, 2008 9:08 pm

    Complex is the word. They said years ago if we were to build a computer to duplicate the human mind we’d need space the size of the Empire State building and electrical power the equivalent of the whole of New York city. Of course that was said when computers were the size of a regular bedroom.

    Now it should be much smaller. But still we won’t be able to make one to work like our minds.

    Computers run on logic. When you pit logic against emotion, emotion wins 99% of the time. At least that’s what my married friends tell me when they lament their domestic life. πŸ˜€

  5. LC Teh permalink
    November 14, 2008 8:25 am

    Aah… Faced with that ultimate weapon, logic doesn’t work anymore. Looks like some of your friends have yet to master the trick of over-coming emotions with emotion. Very tricky, the human mind…

    And, oh yes, love unconditionally, but tread with caution.

    You mean like speak softly but carry a big stick? hahaha. πŸ™‚

    Fighting emotion with emotion? Thats new to me.

  6. November 14, 2008 9:52 am

    Clothes? Nothing to hide la. Just to respect other people’s eyes. πŸ˜›

    Hmm… the Naked Chef would probably see it differently…

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