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That’s so ghey!

April 10, 2009

Do you or your friend have this habit of saying, “That’s so gay!” whenever someone picks out an item you don’t particularly like?

The right way to use the phrase is to look at something, for example this blog’s colors, and say with a chortle, “That’s so gay!”

To tell you the truth, it took me a while to appreciate that this comment is usually directed at choice of color, choice of object or mannerism, with a hint that the person involved does not have normal tastes.

So being somewhat of a klutz in these things, I asked around to find out what is gay and not gay. I’m happy to report I finally found the authoritative answer.

“Not gay” to the people I spoke to means something with a chock-a-block design (no slender lines),  with squarish edges and in dark colors like black or charcoal gray.

To illustrate, here’s an object that is not gay.

hummer

However, if you desire anything with a curvy shape and in the wrong color or worse, be seen driving one, then you are definitely gay.

yellowferrari
So you can stop drooling over the Ferrari if you’re a not-gay guy.

The same goes with the clothes you wear. If it has any hint of non-dark – perhaps a splash of white here, red there, or heaven forbid, some light blue or pink – then you are gay. Spider man, Superman, Iron man, Manchester United, Miami Dolphins, they’re all gay as a fly or muscle marys by these standards.

Now if Batman got rid of his batbike, then he’s 100% not gay because his ride from his last movie is squarish like a hummer and his clothes are so dark and so not-gay. It’ll be even better if he ditches his black skivvies for not-gay shorts. But Robin…I dunno about him. Too many colors. What do you think?

If you don’t have much money but desperately want to show the world how not-gay you are, you can drive one of these.

blackvan

Dig the chick pic on the side? It screams “not gay.”

I hope you find my tips useful. 🙂

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One Comment leave one →
  1. April 10, 2009 5:38 pm

    o_o like that also can?

    Yep, according to people who think of themselves as the standard bearers of “not gay”.

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